By Sherry Ann Dixon
Every February, the world turns red. Hearts. Roses. Prix-fixe menus. Urgent dinner reservations. Last-minute panic purchases. Social media declarations. Silent expectations.
And somewhere in the middle of all this glitter and pressure, a curious question lingers:
Why are we still so deeply invested in Valentine’s Day?
What was once framed as a romantic gesture now feels, for many, like an annual emotional audit, a day where love must be proven, measured, displayed, and often purchased.
A Tradition That Refuses to Fade
To be fair, Valentine’s Day is not some modern invention designed purely by retailers. Its roots stretch back to ancient Roman traditions and the legend of St. Valentine, the priest who allegedly defied Emperor Claudius II by secretly marrying couples. By the 14th century, writers like Geoffrey Chaucer had already begun weaving romance into the narrative.
History, culture, and ritual all play their part.
For many people, the day serves as a deliberate pause, a reminder to express affection in a world that rarely slows down long enough for emotional reflection. And that intention, in itself, is not a problem.
When Love Becomes a Performance
The discomfort arises when the celebration shifts from meaningful to mechanical. When love starts feeling like an obligation rather than an emotion. When effort becomes financial rather than personal. When comparison replaces connection.
With billions spent each year globally, Valentine’s Day has evolved into a commercial spectacle. Affection is subtly framed as something that must be demonstrated through gifts, dinners, or grand gestures.
Love, disturbingly, becomes transactional.
The Uneven Pressure Few Discuss
Despite living in a society that proudly speaks of equality, Valentine’s expectations often remain curiously traditional.
Men are still widely conditioned to plan, initiate, surprise, impress, and finance the experience. The unspoken message is clear: success on Valentine’s Day reflects success as a partner.
For many men, this does not feel romantic. It feels like a test. Gift anxiety. Financial strain. Fear of disappointment. The pressure to decode expectations that may never have been clearly communicated. And in an era amplified by social media, curated perfection only intensifies the stress.
Is Valentine’s Day Secretly Stressful?
For some, absolutely. Not because love is stressful, but because performance is. Many men naturally express affection through consistency, reliability, humour, presence, and acts of service. Yet Valentine’s Day often demands a very specific, highly visible style of romance. When everyday love goes unnoticed, but one day carries enormous weight, resentment can quietly creep in.
Enter Galentine’s Day
Then comes February 13, Galentine’s Day - a celebration of female friendship that began as fiction and somehow became tradition.
At its heart, the idea is genuinely beautiful. Friendship, particularly among women, is powerful, sustaining, and life-giving. Celebrating those bonds is neither trivial nor secondary.
But again, the deeper question emerges:
Why must appreciation wait for a calendar date?
Why do we require themed days to honour relationships that carry us all year?
Not a Day for “Single Women” — A Day for Connection
One refreshing aspect of Galentine’s Day is its inclusivity. Contrary to common assumptions, it is not reserved for single women nor framed as a consolation event. Single, married, partnered — it does not matter. It is simply about celebrating friendship without romantic comparison or pressure. And perhaps that is why many women find it so freeing. There is no performance review. No romantic scoreboard. Just connection.
The Real Issue Isn’t the Celebration
Neither Valentine’s Day nor Galentine’s Day is inherently problematic. The issue is dependency. When love becomes scheduled instead of lived. When appreciation becomes annual instead of habitual. When affection requires an occasion instead of intention. A single day cannot compensate for emotional absence. A grand gesture cannot replace daily kindness.
Love Should Be a Lifestyle, Not an Event
Romantic love deserves nurturing. Friendship deserves honouring. But the healthiest relationships rarely rely on ceremonial dates for validation. They thrive on ordinary, consistent expressions of care — the small gestures that accumulate quietly over time. Not the ones performed under social pressure.
A Gentle Reflection for February
Celebrate if it brings you joy. Participate if it feels meaningful. But pause long enough to ask yourself an honest question:
Do I express love only when society prompts me or as a natural way of being?
Because love was never meant to live inside a single day. It was meant to live in how we show up for each other every day.
